Today we attended the Autism Awareness Walk. All week I was so nervous for it. It felt as though this was it, this was our coming out of the closet in a sense. It was our first Autism outing. Matt had to leave town today for business for the week, but left late so he could go with us, for that I am so grateful. This mans love and acceptance for Haven never ceases to amaze me. Today we walked for love.
Before we left this morning Mia told me she didn’t want to go to the Autism Walk. My sweet girl is an old soul, she is wise beyond her years. She sits through hours of therapy a week, sometimes assisting with therapy and sometimes having to occupy herself, she helps calm the never ending meltdowns, she shares more often than she should have to, and she does all of this without resenting Havey and with love. I don’t blame her for not wanting to have to go do another one of “Havey’s things.” Mia knows Haven is different. She’s asked before “What’s wrong with sissy? Why’s she so mean?” Everytime it shatters my heart. I try to explain Havey is a little different and still learning. Today when she didn’t want to go we had to dive a little more in depth about Autism, and Haven and why supporting this is so important to us and our family. Mia was immediately on board. She loves her sister more than anything, she is her comfort zone and her biggest fan. Today we walked for sisterhood and understanding.
All day I fought back tears, it was such an emotional event. As I sit writing this I am exhausted, physically and mentally exhausted. We needed today though. All of us needed today. Matt said to me at one point “I see so many kids doing the things Havey does.” And he was so right. They were everywhere, in all different shapes and forms. Which was in a way comforting but also very, very scary and intimidating. This is going to be our life. This is our now and our later. We also saw kids who’s prognosis was a lot worst then Havey’s, which was also needed. It could be so much worst, i tend to loose sight of that on the tough days. It reminded me to be thankful and stay grounded. Today we walked for vulnerability and humility.
The organization that put this walk on did an amazing job. There were food trucks, snacks, ballon artists, therapeutic horse rides, and arts and crafts to keep the kiddos happy and entertained. Easily the best part for me though was the resource fair. They had over 40 booths of organizations that help with special needs children. There is so much to learn, I feel like I am constantly learning and engrossing myself in every resource I can yet I still know nothing. Having so many resources in one place with such a vast amount of information was incredible for me. I seriously learned so much. Today we walked for knowledge, because knowledge is power.
Today we walked for Haven.