Recently I had a situation that kind of left my mind spinning. A couple girls that honestly the only accurate description I can think of is sad, and young and very very weak, saying not nice things directed at me. I was basically in shock. I am a 26 year old woman, I’ve been out of high school for so long now, the women and girls I surround myself with never act like that. I struggled to fathom that there are girls that still do act like that. In my experience confidence is quiet and insecurities roar. These girls roar. Loud. The whole thing got me thinking though of how blessed I am to be surrounded by such strong, supportive, and loving women. How I am not used to seeing that because I don’t see it often. I run with a strong tribe.
On any given day, at any given time I can put out a cry for help or a need and there’s 10-20 women, some I barely know offering their support, help, or advice. Some of these women are just social media followers, or started as that and have literally been willing to drop everything to help my girls and I. That is AMAZING y’all. I often hear people talk poorly about social media and I get it. Sometimes it’s the same mundane things, but sometimes it’s super amazing things. Strangers rallying to help one another, whether it be a gofundme, tangible donations, emotional support, it is a constant, much needed reminder that there is still so much good in this seemingly bad world.
I have the absolute most amazing best girl friends, they are few, but mighty. Quality over quantity ladies. These are women who do whatever they can to help the girls and myself. They keep me sane on days when I’m about to loose it, they give the best advice, they tell me the truth, not just the candy coated what I want to hear nonsense, the actual truth. They bring coffee when I need it most and presents for the girls on Birthdays and celebrate every milestone with me. They’ve been through all life’s heartbreaks and always help to build me back up. I know I never have to worry about them turning on me, or telling my secrets. I know at the end of the day that they are 100% there for me in any way they can be. Girl friends like this are rare, cherish that, and be that when you can be.
I see the most selfless single mothers that give every ounce of themselves to provide what their children need both financially and emotionally. They give even when they have nothing left to give most days. They do this day in and day out with no thank- you, good job, or keep it up. They do this because they have to, they have no choice. And even if they did have a choice, they would still do it. They choose to put themselves last every single day. They drink and reheat cold coffee five times a morning, they rarely eat a warm meal and usually never sitting down, they go without while making sure their babies have it all. They teach and show their children unconditional love. Love that will stick with them all of their lives. Love that will create strong women out of little girls.
I see women who have faced the unthinkable, giving their babies to God far to soon, being so strong. Unfortunately there’s a few of these mommas in my life but I will never forget when Evan passed. We had just found out we were expecting Mia shortly before and going through that with the Weavers taught me so so much about being a mom. About raw unconditional love and a mothers love. Dana has been one of the biggest role models in my life as a mother. Watching her continue on, loving her earthly babies and now grandbabies while being without her baby has been both flooring and grounding. She is a constant example to my Mia of what a strong woman is.Always be thankful for God and all you have. I cannot even fathom what these moms feel and have been through but they are so selfless and inspiring. The first to offer a helping hand in whatever way they can. Their love for others is so strong they continue on.
I see great strength in women who have suffered abuse. Whether it be mental, sexual, or physical. It could have consumed them, hell at times I’m sure it has, but still they continue on. They fight for themselves and for other women. They fight for our voices as women. They fight to expose the absolute horror that some women have gone through. They fight to keep our daughters safe, our friends safe, our mothers safe. And even when society says to pipe down and stop fighting they keep fighting. That is strength, that is selfless, brave strength. Those women are soldiers in this war on life, equality, and safety. Thank you to these women for fighting for my babies.
I see moms and women running businesses, some that supplement the home, some that fully support the home. They juggle children, housework, sometimes a normal 9-5 job, and their own business on the side that they have grown from the ground up. They take risks to try to help better their family. Risks that many of us are too fearful to take. These women are girl bosses, raising the next generation of girl bosses.
The large majority of our doctors, therapists, and specialists are women. Not because I am sexist but because I think it takes a special person, one who can be sympathetic, warm, and loving while making major impacts in families and children’s lives to do their jobs and in most situations that tends to be a woman. Our neurosurgeon, the tiniest but mightiest woman I’ve ever met. I don’t think this woman sleeps. There would be days in the hospital she’d come visit Haven at 10pm before heading into another surgery. I don’t know she does it. Our pediatrician that fought so hard to find Havens missing piece, a woman, a mother at that, who refused to give up on my baby. Our Geneticist, Autism Specialist, Sleep specialist, all of our therapists, Eye specialist, every single one of them are women. Some I requested, some was luck of the draw but nevertheless they are all amazing, strong, compassionate, brilliant women.
I see special needs mommas. Some of these are birth moms, adoptive and foster moms, or grandparents who have taken on the duty of mom. Whether biological or not they are all equally important and amazing. These moms are superheroes in my eyes. They juggle doctors appointments, therapies, ABA, non stop evaluations and paperwork, hours and hours of driving, usually on very limited sleep. They go to bat with insurance and fight endlessly for their children’s needs. They are constantly doing research, trying to inform others, and second guessing if they are making the right choices for their littles. They are overworked, underpaid, misunderstood, yet still remain positive. Some of these moms have gotten me through my scariest days. They encourage me to push forward, and make me feel a little less crazy for doing so.
My goal as a mother is to raise strong, independent, smart girls that turn into strong women. I do this by surrounding myself with strong women. By being a strong woman. By keeping the girls aware and alert to the world around them, the struggles women face, and how we overcome them. Our jobs as women and mothers are to uplift other women. To teach our daughters to uplift and love other girls. Your relationships and friendships should not feel like an episode of Gossip Girl, and if they do you should reevaluate yourself and integrity as a woman, as well as those around you.
Be the good y’all.