We used to skip birthdays.

Earlier on in our Autism diagnosis I used to dread getting invitations to birthday parties. Not just Birthday parties but bridal and baby showers, holidays, really any special event. Not because I didn’t want to go, I wanted so badly to go and celebrate these people we loved and the special events in their lives. I knew though that in those settings, the meltdowns were inevitable. I also knew that although the people in our lives love us and want to support us, they might not always know what to do if the situation arises. So we didn’t go. For a long time we didn’t stray too far from the house or our comfort zones in fear of setting Haven off and in return setting those around us off, especially in public settings where people may not know Haven or her struggles and are usually not to kind or understanding to her intense meltdowns. It was a very lonely and isolated time in our lives. At times I found myself resenting those and the world around us.

Havens had her diagnosis’s for a few years now. Throughout the years I’ve slowly started to do more with her and others. I’ve grown stronger and more confident in myself as a special needs momma. My skin has toughened, I no longer worry as much about what the strangers around us think. They do not know the burden I bear and I owe them zero explanations for why my child is struggling so strongly in whatever given environment we are in. I refuse to live our lives less than what they already are just because her meltdowns or quirks may upset those around us. That’s not fair to Haven, Mia, or myself. We’ve all given up so much since Haven’s diagnosis’s. We aren’t losing any more time or precious memories with those we love and those that love us. If that makes people upset or uncomfortable, I am not sorry. Autism is growing at a rapid rate and if people Choose only to see the meltdowns or behaviors, they will miss the smart, beautiful, bright, and loving 5 year old that God has blessed us with.

To those that choose to love us and still invite us even when it’s not always easy or the most peaceful, THANK YOU. Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for showing us grace in our absolute worst moments. Thank you for offering us a quiet space when the noise is too much and she becomes over stimulated. Thank you for helping when you can, for not judging when most do, and for loving us through every single meltdown and tear the three of us sometimes cry. You are pure gold and we are so lucky to have each and every one of you.

To my sweet Kevin, thank you for always being ready to tackle these events with us even though we both know it will probably go awry at times. You were made for this and I thank God daily for you.

The last month has been very hard on us all, I don’t know if it’s the change in routine from summer, if Haven is going through a regression, or if her Chiari/brain is bothering her but 5 has not been good to us. Please pray this passes quickly as many days it’s so very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As always, be the good y’all.



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